I never want to see another naked old woman again.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
