i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
