every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
