I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My bed smells like the plague
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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