nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
