absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
