The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
