I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
we should paint friendship bongs
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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