Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
