I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
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If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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