I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
