Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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