so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
