I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
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