I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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