Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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