Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Randomize
