Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
