It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
