I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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