he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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