I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
