I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
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shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize