i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize