Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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