lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
