2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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