Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize