Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
