mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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