i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Randomize
