if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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