She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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