her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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