i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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