She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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