i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
