found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
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I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
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I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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