and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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