We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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