just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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