we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
