That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
