Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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