i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I wish you could order shots online.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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