I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
