Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Damn victory sex feels great
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
