its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
