Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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