he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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