My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize