if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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