terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
