Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
