you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
