You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
