Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
