I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
