Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
