I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
the condom got lost in my hair
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
