Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
we made out on top of his cat.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
